All the King's Men

About fifteen years ago, I was playing a little pick-up basketball at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  I was only playing 'a little'. 

I was rolling around on the ground in pain 'a lot'.

This was the first time I tore my right ACL (a ligament in your knee).  I got it operated on a few months after the injury.  I did my physical therapy and all that.  Got a brace.  Everything was fine for about three years...

..until I was playing 'a little' pick-up volleyball.

That's when I tore my left ACL.  ACL injuries are kind of weird because they never really heal.  It's not like the ligament will reattach itself or some internal scab forms.  You can do physical therapy and strengthen the muscles and avoid the invasive surgery.  But it never truly heals.  And as long as you don't pivot on your knee, you'll probably be okay.  So I never bothered to get it operated on.  I figured someone was trying to tell me something-I should stop doing this whole weekend warrior sports nonsense.  Although I was never really any good at sports, I was pretty successful at turning down friends that asked if I wanted to go 'shoot some hoop' or 'crack the crouqet'. But then I was at a family reunion and had a couple of cold ones and then I think to myself, "Boy, haven't had any trouble with that knee for a coupla years now.  I bet I'm okay to play a little backyard volleyball.  No harm in that."

CUT TO:

JASON, lying on the ground finding out that indeed, there was harm in that.

And then I'd let it heal up and everything would be fine until the next backyard BBQ when everyone wants to play some badmitton or whatever and I have a coupla beers and think, "Man, it's been a few years since I had any problem with that knee.  I bet it'd be okay to hit the ol' birdie around."

CUT TO:

JASON, lying on the ground, with birdie and ego beside him.

But after ten years, I still didn't get it operated on.  Until one day (one of the greatest combinations of words in the English language...until one day...something really good is about to happen or really bad.  In this case, you don't need an English Lit degree to know...), I was working on the roof of my house and I'm not sure how it happened, but the knee just kinda slipped out of place a little.  When this happens, it's not like you can see it.  My kneecap doesn't go off to the side or anything.  It's some internal repositioning.  So I was on the roof of my house. 

And no one was home. 

And it was about to rain.

I had to pull a Mel Gibson/Lethal Weapon move and kind of jerk it back into place.  At this point I pulled a Danny Glover/Lethal Weapon and said, "I'm getting too old for this shit" and got the left one operated on soon after this incident.  I noticed a change in my physicality though after this day.  Because twelve or so years after my first knee operation, I notice that the opposite hip starts to hurt because I'm overcompensating with the oether leg.  Hip surgery is scary.  So I got the left one operated on and everything was fine, until one day...

Back in November, when the weather is just right for some football and guys and gals like me want to re-live the 'glory days' (although with me, my high school football glory days consist of me and my buddy Bill going, 'Do you wanna go to the game?' 'I dunno, do you wanna go to the game?' 'I dunno, do you wanna go to the game?'  and we'd end up going to Denny's for five hours), I was playing flag football and the right one, the one from fifteen years ago, re-tore. 

So I'm having it re-done in three weeks.  Red Collar will be on a two or three month hiatus until it heals up.  We have three more local shows until then: tonight at King's, this weekend at BCHQ and the week after at Broad Street Cafe.  As much of a drag as this surgery is, the break will be nice to work on new songs and do some new recordings. 

Although I guess I could've just asked the band for a break instead of this whole Look-at-me/Feel-bad-for-me routine.